1 00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:04,198 Dr. Reid, I know yoga is supposed to be good for pregnant women, 2 00:00:04,238 --> 00:00:06,138 but are you sure this is okay? 3 00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:08,903 It looks like that baby could squirt out any second. 4 00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:12,845 Lucy, I'm fine. Besides, I would never give birth under a tree. 5 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,815 Although J.D. And I did conceive this baby under one. 6 00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:19,308 It was a Christmas tree. Not in our house. It was still on the lot. 7 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:22,015 We made a bunch of Christians uncomfortable that day. 8 00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:26,584 - I once got felt up in a pumpkin patch. - Don't you just love the holidays? 9 00:00:26,994 --> 00:00:29,428 It's so nice having someone to talk to. 10 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,624 I feel like I can't go to the other med students. 11 00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:35,123 It's gotten so cutthroat. People will do anything to get ahead. 12 00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:40,265 Lost got canceled and they're never gonna air the finale? 13 00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:43,765 So many questions. Hey, good luck on the test, bro. 14 00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:49,107 Even Drew's been acting like a gunner recently. 15 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:51,946 Drew, can I borrow your histology notes? 16 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,619 Roger, no. Nothing personal, 17 00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:57,146 I just don't want to help you half-ass your way through med school 18 00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:58,522 and keep you from your true destiny, 19 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,220 which is to become the second-best dentist 20 00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:03,025 at a run-down strip mall. You get it. 21 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:08,134 I was a gunner for a while when I was in med school. 22 00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:09,830 Once I set my roommate Lauren's books on fire 23 00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,168 so she couldn't study. Turns out I'd loaned her mine, 24 00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,766 so I actually had to buy a whole new set, which she then stole. 25 00:01:14,809 --> 00:01:17,869 Still, in the end I won because she got hit by a truck. 26 00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:19,402 I mean, she didn't die, 27 00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:22,507 but she is not smart enough to be a doctor anymore. 28 00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:24,040 Is she happy? 29 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,409 - Oh, she's very happy. - Good. 30 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,347 Now, to recap, 31 00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:33,019 what is the number-one attribute all med students share 32 00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:34,823 with this skeleton? 33 00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:36,520 Yes. 34 00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,692 The hollow area of nothingness inside the skull? 35 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,998 Exactly. Now, it is time for a boring announcement 36 00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:45,972 about a pointless tradition brought to you by an empty figurehead 37 00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:48,998 with a failing liver and an overactive libido. 38 00:01:49,043 --> 00:01:52,137 Thank you, Perry, you anger-filled muscle slut. 39 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,904 - I miss this. - Yeah, me, too. 40 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,144 Kills me that we're friends now. 41 00:01:57,184 --> 00:02:01,678 All right. As you know, Friday is the annual White Coat Ceremony. 42 00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:05,982 In front of your family and friends, you will receive your lab coats, 43 00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:09,325 a symbol of your entree into the world of medicine. 44 00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:12,625 - These doctors' coats... - Murderers' coats, Bob. 45 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,332 Because they are all murderers. 46 00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:19,569 Anyhoo, the faculty will be choosing a keynote speaker 47 00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:22,041 to represent the entire first-year class. 48 00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:23,839 And as part of this meaningless charade, 49 00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:26,676 Winston University requires that each of you sit with me, 50 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:30,445 the Chief of Medicine, for an irrelevant pre-ceremony interview. 51 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:34,682 A quick sidebar, Perry? Can I do the interview 52 00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:37,555 with that little number in the second row? 53 00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:40,025 She said I reminded her of her grandpa, 54 00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:43,461 and I think I could use that to at least get her top off. 55 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:46,955 - You're a hell of an educator, Bob. - I do it for them. 56 00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:54,301 - So, you ready for your interview? - So ready. 57 00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:57,808 I can answer any questions about our classes, about the hospital, 58 00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:00,143 I even took the time to memorize personal facts 59 00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:02,945 about each of my professors, so bring it. 60 00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,511 Well, there's really only one question. 61 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,883 Why do you want to be a doctor? 62 00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:09,720 You've never been to Maine 63 00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:12,385 and you were college roommates with Michael Bolton. 64 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:16,254 Yes, and the latter fuels most of my anger. 65 00:03:16,931 --> 00:03:18,626 I'd like you to come back with a better answer, 66 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,759 and if you find you can't come up with a better answer, 67 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:23,065 then please know I'm going to make it my personal mission 68 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:25,298 to drum you out of this med school. 69 00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:28,467 But you said this was just a meaningless charade. 70 00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:31,000 Not for you. Get out. 71 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,369 Stupid Michael Bolton. 72 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,575 - Hey, buddy. - Not your buddy. 73 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:41,087 - Whatevs, bra. - Also not your bro. 74 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,379 Once again, it's you versus me. 75 00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:46,518 Smarts versus nepotism for the keynote speaker. 76 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,754 - Let the battle begin. - There's no battle. 77 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:52,624 This is something I want, so I'm gonna crush you. 78 00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:56,067 Yeah, well, good luck, 'cause I got skills. Check it. 79 00:03:57,838 --> 00:03:59,032 Swish. 80 00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:05,735 Hey, Drew. You know how we get hot over gross and disgusting things? 81 00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:08,714 Yes, and hello, Dr. Reid, who I barely know. 82 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,713 - 'Sup, freak? - Hi. 83 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:14,414 Anyway, check it out. Mr. Warshal passed his kidney stone. 84 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:15,815 That's hot. 85 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,654 FYI, that's like passing a bowling ball through a straw. 86 00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:20,353 They say it's actually a lot like giving birth. 87 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:23,090 Super-pumped, by the way. Super-pumped. 88 00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:25,629 So, I'm taking you to dinner tonight. 89 00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:28,066 Did you bring anything less bloody to change into? 90 00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:30,127 - Why? - I don't know. It's a nice place. 91 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,161 Wouldn't kill you to dress up once in a while. 92 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:33,966 Pretty girl. 93 00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:37,671 - You're a pretty girl. - I am a pretty girl. 94 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,137 Okay, guys. So, nine years ago, 95 00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:42,978 Joseph was my first appendectomy patient. 96 00:04:43,017 --> 00:04:45,144 Since then, some scar tissue has formed, 97 00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:47,210 so we're gonna clear that right up. 98 00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:49,484 Joseph, my old friend, we'll take care of you, 99 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:52,356 but first you gotta give me what I need. 100 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:59,324 Brother speaks French! That's a bromance language, y'all! 101 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,730 Anyway, it says here that we're delaying surgery 102 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:04,966 due to topical irritation near the incision site. 103 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:08,500 If you guys'll excuse me for a second, that would be great. 104 00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:11,568 Dude's a goner. I see it in his eyes. 105 00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:15,013 He's Haitian. It's a poisonwood-berry burn. 106 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:17,706 - How do you know? - Trust me, I know. 107 00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,343 Boy George, if you're right, 108 00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:22,321 you could seal the deal for keynote speaker. 109 00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:23,448 Too little too late. 110 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,323 My fam just donated another MRI thingy. 111 00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:31,128 Joseph, we're gonna solve this puzzle, and in thanks, you'll say... 112 00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:34,225 - Merci beaucoup. - Merci beaucoup! 113 00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:36,768 Incredible. 114 00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:38,364 - Dr. Turk. - Yes. 115 00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:40,532 I think I know what's wrong. 116 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,974 It's a reaction to the acidic black poisonwood berry. 117 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,102 They're common on Joseph's home island... 118 00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:47,636 Home island of Haiti. Damn, I was just going to say that. 119 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:51,549 Keep it up, Drew. Catches like this could save someone's life. 120 00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:58,756 Dr. Cox, I know why I want to be a doctor. 121 00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:00,559 I want to use my experience 122 00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:03,290 to make the kind of catches that save lives. 123 00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:06,822 - To give people a chance to live... - Hold that thought. 124 00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,603 Time of death, 4:23 p.m. 125 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,935 Oh! I'm very... 126 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,907 His middle name is Ulysses. 127 00:06:46,235 --> 00:06:48,669 - 'Sup, homes? - Don't call me "homes." 128 00:06:48,704 --> 00:06:51,639 Actually, I like homes. I'll allow it. What are you doing? 129 00:06:51,674 --> 00:06:53,073 Just surfing the Web, 130 00:06:53,109 --> 00:06:56,510 watching old White Coat speeches, cherry-picking the best parts for mine. 131 00:06:56,579 --> 00:06:57,910 Solid plan. 132 00:06:57,947 --> 00:07:01,508 Hey, Drew, turns out you were right about the Haitian berry reaction. 133 00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:05,452 I guess your diagnosis wasn't "rash" after all. 134 00:07:07,757 --> 00:07:10,590 See, J.D., I told you they wouldn't laugh! 135 00:07:15,331 --> 00:07:18,357 Genius, man. You lay low at first, 136 00:07:18,401 --> 00:07:22,667 then the White Coat thing comes up, and boom, you turn into a gunner. 137 00:07:22,905 --> 00:07:25,567 - What? I'm not a gunner. - Please. 138 00:07:25,608 --> 00:07:27,269 Always got the right answer. 139 00:07:27,310 --> 00:07:30,336 Being all helpful with that island-berry dude. 140 00:07:30,579 --> 00:07:35,414 - Dude, we are exactly the same. - We are not the same. 141 00:07:35,851 --> 00:07:38,081 You're a selfish, petty child 142 00:07:38,254 --> 00:07:40,916 who would screw over anybody to get ahead. 143 00:07:40,957 --> 00:07:42,584 Like you did with Roger? 144 00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:46,618 ...the second-best dentist at a run-down strip mall. You get it. 145 00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:54,998 I followed him. He called his folks, crying. 146 00:07:55,771 --> 00:07:57,329 It was awesome. 147 00:07:58,407 --> 00:08:01,342 Yeah, it's like looking in a mirror, homes. 148 00:08:07,750 --> 00:08:09,012 Dr. Cox. 149 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,912 I've done some soul-searching and I have a new answer. 150 00:08:13,956 --> 00:08:18,120 Let me prep for the verbal brilliance that is surely headed my way. 151 00:08:19,095 --> 00:08:22,155 - Ha. Proceed. - I want to become a doctor 152 00:08:22,198 --> 00:08:24,792 so I can help people who can't help themselves. 153 00:08:24,834 --> 00:08:26,665 - Lame. - When my grandmother was ill... 154 00:08:26,702 --> 00:08:27,726 Boo! 155 00:08:27,770 --> 00:08:29,203 See, Dr. Quinn was a medicine woman... 156 00:08:29,238 --> 00:08:33,106 Stop. Now, this is when I would normally launch into a rant, 157 00:08:33,275 --> 00:08:35,038 but I've already told you what the consequences are 158 00:08:35,077 --> 00:08:36,908 if you don't come up with an acceptable answer 159 00:08:36,946 --> 00:08:38,277 prior to the ceremony. 160 00:08:38,314 --> 00:08:40,805 Right now, you've got four strikes on you, 161 00:08:40,850 --> 00:08:44,183 and even in the adjusted, Lucy Bennett five-strike system 162 00:08:44,220 --> 00:08:45,414 that I recently established 163 00:08:45,454 --> 00:08:47,251 to accommodate all major underachievers... 164 00:08:47,323 --> 00:08:48,620 Go ahead and take a second and be happy 165 00:08:48,657 --> 00:08:50,386 that something was named after you. 166 00:08:50,426 --> 00:08:53,554 ...you still need to come up with something better. 167 00:08:53,729 --> 00:08:56,926 One more pathetic cliched answer and you're gone. 168 00:08:57,767 --> 00:08:59,758 That was kind of a rant. 169 00:09:01,137 --> 00:09:04,106 Hey, why did you guys want to become doctors? 170 00:09:04,507 --> 00:09:08,136 I actually didn't want to be a doctor. I wanted to be a gymnast. 171 00:09:08,177 --> 00:09:10,407 But I was chesty for my age and I had no balance, 172 00:09:10,479 --> 00:09:11,571 because when I was nine 173 00:09:11,614 --> 00:09:14,276 my cousin jammed a piece of uncooked pasta in my ear. 174 00:09:14,316 --> 00:09:15,783 So the first time I went on the balance beam, 175 00:09:15,818 --> 00:09:18,286 I fell off and broke my bajingo bone, 176 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,812 so, really, I became a doctor because my parents made me. 177 00:09:23,092 --> 00:09:25,959 - How about you, Dr. Mahoney? - I like scabs. 178 00:09:27,496 --> 00:09:30,659 Hey, Drew, want to come over tonight and watch one of those survival shows 179 00:09:30,699 --> 00:09:34,795 - and root for the guy to die? - Tonight's not a good night, Denise. 180 00:09:39,675 --> 00:09:41,199 - Hey, work buddy. - Hey. 181 00:09:41,243 --> 00:09:43,768 - You have a sec? - Yeah. What do you want to do? 182 00:09:43,813 --> 00:09:45,178 You want to play a quick Hide the Saltine? 183 00:09:45,214 --> 00:09:47,239 Maybe Giant Black Doctor? 184 00:09:47,583 --> 00:09:49,551 Damn, those never sounded dirty with J.D. 185 00:09:49,585 --> 00:09:50,916 - Yes, they did. - Oh. 186 00:09:50,953 --> 00:09:53,751 Actually, I was hoping I could get a little advice. 187 00:09:53,789 --> 00:09:56,053 Tell mama your problems, baby. 188 00:09:56,592 --> 00:09:59,186 I'm having relationship issues with Drew. 189 00:09:59,228 --> 00:10:01,492 - I know... ...just what to do. 190 00:10:01,831 --> 00:10:03,389 Great! I'm out! 191 00:10:03,499 --> 00:10:05,967 Okay, so he made a comment about wanting you to look nice, 192 00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:07,593 and then you blew him off and mocked him. 193 00:10:07,636 --> 00:10:10,298 - Yeah. Called him a girl. - Well, fantastic. Okay. 194 00:10:10,339 --> 00:10:12,136 Does Drew ever do anything nice for you? 195 00:10:12,174 --> 00:10:14,734 - Yeah, all the time. - And do you ever do anything for him? 196 00:10:14,777 --> 00:10:17,007 Oh, no. Who wants to travel down that road? 197 00:10:17,046 --> 00:10:18,843 Denise, like it or not, you're in a relationship. 198 00:10:18,881 --> 00:10:21,748 Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do, like dressing nice. 199 00:10:21,784 --> 00:10:23,843 Or, in my case, going to the zoo twice a month. 200 00:10:23,886 --> 00:10:26,013 I still don't know why J.D. Is so obsessed 201 00:10:26,055 --> 00:10:27,579 with those damn penguins. 202 00:10:27,623 --> 00:10:29,989 It's because they look like little formal people. 203 00:10:30,025 --> 00:10:32,118 We like to think they're British. 204 00:10:32,161 --> 00:10:35,028 - Turk, if you're out, then stay out. - Fine! 205 00:10:35,698 --> 00:10:38,462 So, to make Drew happy I have to start wearing tutus and prom dresses? 206 00:10:38,501 --> 00:10:40,765 That would look adorable, but no. 207 00:10:40,803 --> 00:10:43,829 Just throw on something sexy once in a while, you know? 208 00:10:43,873 --> 00:10:45,670 Show him you care. 209 00:10:45,708 --> 00:10:48,074 "Anyone fancy a swim?" 210 00:10:50,246 --> 00:10:52,214 What? That's how they sound. 211 00:10:52,248 --> 00:10:54,512 That is the way they sound! 212 00:10:56,385 --> 00:10:57,477 Where are you going? 213 00:10:58,053 --> 00:11:01,284 Hey, Cole, you know how when we make love 214 00:11:01,323 --> 00:11:04,349 I can't look into your eyes because they're so empty and soulless, 215 00:11:04,393 --> 00:11:05,758 so I just cover them with my hands? 216 00:11:05,794 --> 00:11:08,160 Yeah, it's cool. I can see through your fingers. 217 00:11:08,197 --> 00:11:12,293 Well, I can get past that if you'll be real with me just once. 218 00:11:12,801 --> 00:11:15,133 Why do you want to be a doctor? 219 00:11:15,404 --> 00:11:18,134 - Why the hell not? - That's a good answer. 220 00:11:18,174 --> 00:11:21,507 - How could that be a good answer? - Because he meant it. 221 00:11:21,544 --> 00:11:25,446 'Sup, Chiefs? Hey, I hope the school has insurance, 222 00:11:25,481 --> 00:11:28,450 'cause my keynote speech is going to blow the roof off this mother! 223 00:11:28,484 --> 00:11:31,282 You, son, are a very odd little squid. 224 00:11:33,055 --> 00:11:37,287 Oh, hey, wait, I want to talk to you. Your academic record is impeccable, 225 00:11:37,326 --> 00:11:41,592 and Dr. Turk told me about your catch with the poisonwood-berry burn. 226 00:11:41,730 --> 00:11:45,826 You are our choice as keynote speaker for the White Coat Ceremony. 227 00:11:47,169 --> 00:11:51,469 Congratulations. It's tantamount to getting half-off on a cup of soup. 228 00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:53,804 Who knows why we do the things we do? 229 00:11:53,842 --> 00:11:57,141 Sometimes we're just trying to make someone else happy. 230 00:11:57,546 --> 00:12:02,506 - So you think that outfit is sexy? - Yeah. 'Cause I'm free-boobing it. 231 00:12:03,752 --> 00:12:07,017 Other times we leave people searching for explanations. 232 00:12:07,056 --> 00:12:10,787 I don't want to be the keynote speaker, but thanks. 233 00:12:13,762 --> 00:12:18,131 - Well, that's disappointing. - I was gonna say, "Who cares?" 234 00:12:19,101 --> 00:12:22,366 But in our weakest moments, it's all about jealousy. 235 00:12:22,404 --> 00:12:25,464 Hey, Dr. Turk, I need to show you something on the Web. 236 00:12:25,507 --> 00:12:27,134 Is it a cat doing something a human would do? 237 00:12:27,176 --> 00:12:28,837 'Cause if it is, I'm in. 238 00:12:28,877 --> 00:12:30,936 - Something with Drew. - And a cat? 239 00:12:30,980 --> 00:12:34,746 No. Just look. This is from 10 years ago, dude. 240 00:12:34,917 --> 00:12:38,250 ...that dream is finally realized, and as doctors... 241 00:12:41,190 --> 00:12:43,181 This ceremony's a joke, okay? 242 00:12:43,225 --> 00:12:45,955 I'm better than all you fools, and you guys, too! 243 00:12:45,995 --> 00:12:49,590 Hey! I have something to say. I don't need to be keynote speaker! 244 00:12:49,632 --> 00:12:53,966 Okay? You don't deserve these coats! You don't deserve these coats, okay? 245 00:12:54,003 --> 00:12:55,664 Better recognize! 246 00:12:56,639 --> 00:12:58,163 You showed this to anybody? 247 00:12:58,207 --> 00:13:01,267 Still, nothing's as painful as hiding from the past. 248 00:13:01,310 --> 00:13:04,768 Hey, Drew. "You better recognize"? 249 00:13:05,814 --> 00:13:08,942 - Something people said in the '90s. - Cool people? 250 00:13:10,719 --> 00:13:11,777 No. 251 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:22,752 Recognize! 252 00:13:22,794 --> 00:13:24,352 Recognize! 253 00:13:24,395 --> 00:13:28,126 Yes. Hello. It's me. 254 00:13:29,367 --> 00:13:30,834 How could this be any worse? 255 00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:38,473 Scientists taught horses to talk, and it turns out, 256 00:13:38,509 --> 00:13:41,205 because we've ridden them all these years, 257 00:13:41,245 --> 00:13:43,941 they don't like humans! 258 00:13:46,818 --> 00:13:50,845 - I don't even want to think about it. - What the hell is wrong with Cole? 259 00:13:50,888 --> 00:13:52,014 Drew. 260 00:13:52,156 --> 00:13:54,818 Doctors are much more than just physicians. 261 00:13:54,859 --> 00:13:56,588 They can be mentors. 262 00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,117 Come with me. 263 00:13:59,497 --> 00:14:00,589 Disciplinarians. 264 00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:01,723 Come with me. 265 00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:05,666 Even fashion advisers. 266 00:14:05,703 --> 00:14:08,194 - Come with me. - I'm with a patient. 267 00:14:10,741 --> 00:14:12,800 Dementia? Please. 268 00:14:12,844 --> 00:14:15,870 Don't bring that weak sauce in here. He'll never know you're gone. 269 00:14:15,913 --> 00:14:20,077 Fine. I'll just take my jacket off, put it over the IV stand, 270 00:14:20,117 --> 00:14:23,018 - and he'll probably think it's still me. - Sweet. 271 00:14:23,454 --> 00:14:25,388 Let's see what we have. 272 00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:29,622 You definitely need my blue eyes for this one. 273 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,753 And my pregnancy boobs for this one. 274 00:14:31,796 --> 00:14:33,991 Honestly, if I could give up five years of my life 275 00:14:34,031 --> 00:14:35,794 to keep these bad boys, I would. 276 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:38,768 You know, as long as I had a guarantee that I'd live until, like, my 80s. 277 00:14:38,803 --> 00:14:41,772 Yeah, you should bring that up to God when he grants you your magic boobs. 278 00:14:41,806 --> 00:14:44,604 In my head it wasn't God, it was a genie. 279 00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:47,644 Yes, and we're going to figure out what to do with these. 280 00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:50,545 Wow. You're like the sister I never wanted. 281 00:14:51,282 --> 00:14:53,944 - Really? - I'm not doing any of this. 282 00:14:54,385 --> 00:14:56,046 That is what the ugly duckling always says in the movies, 283 00:14:56,087 --> 00:14:59,420 but then she takes her glasses off and everyone thinks she's beautiful. 284 00:14:59,457 --> 00:15:02,426 Did you just call me an ugly duckling? 285 00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:04,428 Look, there's Lucy. Hey, Lucy. 286 00:15:04,462 --> 00:15:07,124 - Did you see Drew's video? - What video? 287 00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:10,057 - Come on. - Too bad about your boy, Drew, 288 00:15:10,101 --> 00:15:12,092 but no worries. I'll pick up the slack. 289 00:15:12,136 --> 00:15:14,229 I already wrote the beginning of my speech. 290 00:15:14,272 --> 00:15:16,797 So I open up with a line from the movie Malice. 291 00:15:16,841 --> 00:15:21,744 "You ask me if I have a God complex. I am God!" Boom! We're in. 292 00:15:21,779 --> 00:15:23,770 Yeah, you damn sure are. 293 00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:29,643 I don't think the lock works on that door, so if he tries to get out, subdue him. 294 00:15:29,687 --> 00:15:32,451 - Sleeper hold or full nelson? - Dealer's choice. 295 00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:35,254 - I'll see what feels right. - Fair enough. 296 00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:38,991 Come out if you want to, boy. Daddy's waiting. 297 00:15:39,830 --> 00:15:43,095 - Why am I scrubbing in again? - The OR's a safe place. 298 00:15:43,134 --> 00:15:46,228 Nobody's gonna yell "recognize" at you in here. 299 00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:50,935 Can I ask you a question? Why do white people ruin everything? 300 00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:54,473 I only got to say "fo' shizzle" for a week. A week! 301 00:15:54,845 --> 00:15:56,836 And what's up with you in that video? 302 00:15:56,881 --> 00:15:59,213 The psychologist called it "an unbalanced act," 303 00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:00,342 but I don't care about that video. 304 00:16:00,384 --> 00:16:03,319 I just hate that it reminds me of who I was. 305 00:16:04,021 --> 00:16:05,852 What are the three categories of presentation 306 00:16:05,890 --> 00:16:06,914 in Crohn's disease? 307 00:16:06,958 --> 00:16:09,688 Stricturing, penetrating and inflammatory. 308 00:16:09,727 --> 00:16:13,060 Sorry, Dr. Reynolds. Looks like nobody else studied. 309 00:16:14,632 --> 00:16:16,463 Psst. Little help? 310 00:16:18,970 --> 00:16:20,198 Thanks. 311 00:16:20,404 --> 00:16:24,204 Oh! This kid's got a cheat sheet. That doesn't seem fair to the rest of us. 312 00:16:24,241 --> 00:16:25,538 I'm just saying. 313 00:16:25,977 --> 00:16:27,535 I pulled every dirty trick in the book 314 00:16:27,578 --> 00:16:29,375 and I still didn't get chosen as keynote speaker. 315 00:16:29,747 --> 00:16:32,181 That honor went to Eric Puritsky. 316 00:16:33,417 --> 00:16:35,851 Let me get this straight. You turned down keynote speaker 317 00:16:35,886 --> 00:16:39,219 because you're worried you're becoming that guy again? 318 00:16:39,256 --> 00:16:41,315 I think I'm already there. 319 00:16:44,562 --> 00:16:46,587 Okay. Thank you so much for letting me dress you up. 320 00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:49,258 I really needed some closure on the whole makeover thing. 321 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,359 Okay, now take your glasses off, let that hair down 322 00:16:51,402 --> 00:16:54,496 and act like you don't know how pretty you are. 323 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,421 There it is! 324 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:17,089 - What is with the sad face? - Dr. Cox is still in my head 325 00:17:17,128 --> 00:17:19,460 about this whole "why do you want to be a doctor" thing. 326 00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:23,126 I can't think of the answer that he wants, you know? 327 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:27,194 And you don't think your amazing new look will take care of that? 328 00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:29,396 I really don't. 329 00:17:31,042 --> 00:17:33,340 Then maybe you should stop looking for the perfect answer 330 00:17:33,377 --> 00:17:36,244 and just tell him what you actually think. 331 00:17:43,516 --> 00:17:46,508 You see that, Drew? That's scar tissue. 332 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,288 Nine years ago, when Joseph came to me, 333 00:17:49,322 --> 00:17:52,621 I popped out his appendix and screwed up the closure. 334 00:17:52,659 --> 00:17:57,119 I was so focused on the abdomen that I blew the cosmesis of the incision. 335 00:17:58,064 --> 00:18:02,524 Nowadays I know better, and I can fix it without making the same mistake. 336 00:18:04,003 --> 00:18:07,131 And because of that, I don't have to beat myself up over something 337 00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:11,872 that happened a long time ago. So, what are you gonna do, Drew? 338 00:18:15,148 --> 00:18:16,945 I'm gonna scrub out. 339 00:18:19,118 --> 00:18:22,087 Hey. Saw that video. Crazy. 340 00:18:22,121 --> 00:18:25,090 Yeah. It's like my own personal "Don't tase me, bro." 341 00:18:25,124 --> 00:18:27,490 - That's why you've been weird, huh? - Pretty much. 342 00:18:27,527 --> 00:18:29,222 I thought it was about me. 343 00:18:29,262 --> 00:18:31,355 'Cause I wouldn't dress all girly-gay for you. 344 00:18:31,397 --> 00:18:35,766 What? No. I mean, I guess I'd like to see you like that sometime, 345 00:18:38,972 --> 00:18:41,634 but I would never ask you to do that. 346 00:18:43,676 --> 00:18:45,075 I gotta go. 347 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,910 Why do I want to be a doctor? 348 00:18:53,453 --> 00:18:55,011 Recognize! 349 00:18:55,054 --> 00:18:56,885 Because the road sure as hell isn't easy. 350 00:18:56,923 --> 00:18:57,981 Recognize. 351 00:18:58,024 --> 00:19:01,790 And there always seems to be something standing in your way. 352 00:19:05,565 --> 00:19:07,795 Sometimes it's even yourself. 353 00:19:08,668 --> 00:19:11,000 - Dr. Cox. - Oh, dear God. 354 00:19:11,404 --> 00:19:13,668 I don't have your perfect answer. 355 00:19:13,706 --> 00:19:16,072 At first I thought it was to make my family proud, 356 00:19:16,109 --> 00:19:18,373 and then I thought it was about saving lives, 357 00:19:18,411 --> 00:19:20,504 and for one second I thought it was a chance 358 00:19:20,546 --> 00:19:24,448 to get closer to Dr. Sanjay Gupta, who is a beautiful Indian man, 359 00:19:24,484 --> 00:19:26,645 and I've never visited that continent romantically, 360 00:19:26,686 --> 00:19:29,780 - if you know what I mean. - Unfortunately, I do. 361 00:19:30,123 --> 00:19:33,650 Anyway, the truth is, I can't pick just one reason. 362 00:19:36,863 --> 00:19:39,093 Oh, my God, that's the answer. 363 00:19:39,999 --> 00:19:42,229 I want to be a doctor for all those reasons, 364 00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:45,726 and a million more that I haven't even thought of yet. 365 00:19:46,305 --> 00:19:47,863 That's not bad. 366 00:19:48,508 --> 00:19:51,443 Come on, let's go. We're gonna be late for the White Coat Ceremony. 367 00:19:51,477 --> 00:19:55,971 - Ooh! Plus, I look super-cute in white. - Now you ruined it. 368 00:19:56,482 --> 00:19:59,576 Luckily, we're surrounded by amazing individuals. 369 00:20:00,553 --> 00:20:03,886 Talented faculty, dedicated mentors, 370 00:20:04,490 --> 00:20:08,654 outstanding students who all strive for excellence. 371 00:20:14,133 --> 00:20:18,763 And then there's the new friends, who make it all a little easier to handle. 372 00:20:19,439 --> 00:20:20,736 So, in closing, 373 00:20:20,773 --> 00:20:24,607 I'd like to give a simple response to Dr. Cox's question. 374 00:20:25,411 --> 00:20:27,140 Why do I want to be a doctor? 375 00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:32,846 Well, because doctors give people second chances. 376 00:20:35,455 --> 00:20:37,980 And we all deserve a second chance. 377 00:20:41,661 --> 00:20:43,322 Better recognize. 378 00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:55,967 Hey, I know how you're really mad at the Internet right now. 379 00:20:56,008 --> 00:20:58,841 Well, it taketh away, but it also giveth. 380 00:21:01,781 --> 00:21:03,180 - And meet the crew! - You're welcome. 381 00:21:03,216 --> 00:21:10,179 You got Styles, Tricky, Lil' Tricky, my man Boots, and me, Cole Fusion. 382 00:21:10,456 --> 00:21:13,789 Are you ready? 'Cause this is happening! 383 00:21:13,826 --> 00:21:15,384 Let's go, boys! 384 00:21:27,273 --> 00:21:28,331 No! 385 00:21:28,775 --> 00:21:31,744 Hey, don't just stand there, man, help me up! 386 00:21:33,045 --> 00:21:34,842 Is my hair still cool? 387 00:21:34,881 --> 00:21:37,213 - I forgive you, Internet. - Help me up! 388 00:21:37,250 --> 00:21:39,810 Come on! Hey, turn that off! Get that away!